Soldier On – Page 5 – Blogged Down By Life

Remembrance Ride 2014 – Part 2

Posted on April 27, 2014May 19, 2014 by Chad Dobbs

DAY 1 – Tuesday 22 April 2014 (Sydney To Mittagong)

There was a lot of nervous energy amongst all the riders, in particular myself and Robbie. We had spent a lot of the morning in front of the media and both of us just wanted to get on our bikes.

RR2014 010 — .:Almost time to start riding;.

At a little before 14:00 we finally rolled off onto the Hume Highway for the start of our three-day journey to Canberra. The first day’s ride was scheduled to end at Mittagong, a relatively short 70km away. The riding was slow and steady at first but we soon picked up the pace under the mentoring of Scott Sunderland.

After only an hour or so of riding, including a few small but taxing climbs, we stopped at the Frank Partridge VC Rest Area, for a quick rest stop. By now some of the sponsor riders were feeling the effects of the climbs and little to no lead up training; but still they persevered.

RR2014 013 — .:Quick stop at the Frank Partridge VC Rest Stop:.

MCP 014 — .:Photo op at the Frank Partridge VC Rest Area:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

There was a little bit of bush mechanic work on a stubborn seat post clamp before the group headed off towards Mittagong once again.

As before the pace began to slow and our group was banding together to keep the others on pace and more importantly on their bikes.

MCPFB 007 — .:Matt’s photo that sums up the entire ride:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

A quick re-org of the riding order saw a few of the slower riders moved up front to set the group pace and stop the rubber-band effect that was tiring those that were at the back.

MCP 015 — .:Hello says Chad to Matt in the support vehicle:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

As the afternoon got a little colder and the shadows longer; concentration started to lapse among some riders. A few instances of half-wheeling began to occur when suddenly two riders hit the road at around 30km/hr. I was in the right lane and broke formation to avoid the carnage and quickly pulled over to the side of the road. Amazingly there were no serious injuries to downed rider (carbon bikes don’t like such spills!).

After some first aid work on the downed riders they were ushered into the support vehicles, the bikes strapped to the wagon’s roof and we resumed riding our final leg into Mittagong. We arrived a little after 17:00 and were greeted at the Mittagong RSL by the sub-branch representatives.

We checked into our rooms (apparently it’s funny to put two Chad’s in one room), showered and made our way over to the bar for some light refreshments and dinner at the bistro. We were joined by the Australian War Memorial’s Director, Dr Brendan Nelson, for dinner and after a quick recap of the days activities and a run down of timings for the next day, it was time for some bike prep and then bed.

RR2014 016 — .:The end of Day 1 – Sydney to Mittagong;. http://app.strava.com/activities/133569377

.:CLICK HERE TO GO TO PART 3:.

Remembrance Ride 2014 – Part 1

Posted on April 27, 2014May 19, 2014 by Chad Dobbs

THE PREP

The 2014 Soldier On Remembrance Ride was a feat only achievable by a great deal of hard work, volunteers and good luck. With only a couple of months to get the wheels rolling, Soldier On had their work cut out for them to get things ready in time; and being privy to the process some things came down to the wire.

I was asked to participate in the ride very early on and I jumped at the opportunity. Three days of riding from Sydney to Canberra with a group of Australian Veterans and some members from our corporate sponsor; The Citadel Group. Also along for the ride was pro-cyclist turned coach/mentor Scott Sunderland.

Before the drive up to Sydney even happened we were locked into a steady routine of media commitments and admin duties at Soldier On HQ.

RR2014 002 — .:Packed and ready to roll:.

The drive up to Sydney was an uneventful affair with a couple of bikes strapped to the back of the Soldier On Audi and four of us squeezed inside with our gear and luggage (the car is really spacious, we just crammed a lot into it). After unloading the car and checking into our hotel opposite Hyde Park, we quickly went through the next days timetable and retired for the night.

DAY 1 – Tuesday 22 April 2014 (The Event Launch)

The morning of the ride was a whirlwind of interviews, photos and a lot of standing around waiting. Soldier On CEO John Bale presented the team to the waiting media and soon we were being told to pose and look at this camera, move, look at that camera and of course speak to the media. Ordinarily I’m not a huge fan of interacting with the media; but sometimes anxiety and nervousness must be set aside for the greater good. I conducted three TV interviews at Hyde Park with SBS, ABC Sydney and SBS Cycling.

CLICK HERE to visit the SBS Australia Online Article

CLICK HERE to visit the SBS News Online Article

CLICK HERE to visit the SBS Cycling Central Video

After our event launch it was time to pack the cars and go for the short drive to our start point (due to Sydney’s stupidly unsafe roads we couldn’t ride out of the CBD).

RR2014 009 — .:At Hyde Park with LTGEN Ken Gillespie:.

MCP 001 — .:A ball of nervous energy before the launch:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 002 — .:Robbie & I trying our best not to make Johanna Hatcher laugh:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 003 — .:Marvelling at our great beards:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 005 — .:Listening to John Bale’s launch speech:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 006 — .:John addressing the waiting media:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 008 — .:Being interviewed by Rena Sarumpaet from SBS News:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 009 — .:Posing with Scott Sunderland post launch:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 012 — .:All of the riders and Soldier On CEO John Bale:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

MCP 013 — .:Adam and I having some time out before heading off to the start point:. http://www.facebook.com/matthewconnorsphotography

.:CLICK HERE TO GO TO PART 2:.

Soldier On Remembrance Ride 2014

Posted on April 19, 2014May 19, 2014 by Chad Dobbs

I’m extremely proud and honoured to be a part of next week’s Soldier On Remembrance Ride 2014.

Over 22 April to 24 April 2014, I will participating in a fundraising/awareness raising ride to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the Remembrance Driveway.

The Remembrance Driveway was created as a living memorial to those who served the nation from WWII and beyond and links Sydney and Canberra via the Hume and Federal Highways with a series of rest areas dedicated to the Victoria Cross recipients.

On 22 April, we will depart Sydney and arrive at the Australian War Memorial on the morning of 24 April in commemoration of the 60th Anniversary of the Remembrance Driveway.

We will be riding over 230km in 3 days with an emphasis of fundraising and awareness raising for Soldier On along the way.

Donations to Soldier On can be made via the link below.

GoFundraise Remembrance Ride 2014 – Supporting Soldier On

Thank you for your support!

The Mont 24 Hour 2014 – The Race That Didn’t Happen

Posted on April 9, 2014October 23, 2014 by Chad Dobbs

While the decisions of the race organisers won’t satisfy all riders; Self Propelled Enterprises have announced what will happen now following the cancellation of The Mont 24 Hour for 2014.

.:Click here to read the announcement:.

Our team for this event was sponsored by and paid for by SOLDIER ON, in return for their generosity, we engaged in a campaign to raise funds and awareness for this great cause.

It was incredibly disappointing to hear that the race had been cancelled mere hours before our Melbourne racer, Chris, was due to arrive in Canberra. Numerous supporters donated money to SOLDIER ON through our fundraising page and we all thank you for your kind support.

Unfortunately we never got the chance to put our tyres on the Kowen Forest trails. For me this was going to be a very special race. I was going to race under the SOLDIER ON banner with three great mates who I’ve shared a lot with over the years. To be honest not being able to share a weekend of bikes, sleep deprivation and junk food with these guys is heartbreaking!

To Chris, John and Gian: I’m sorry we didn’t get to ride as a team; but hopefully we’ll get another chance next year.

To SOLDIER ON: Thank you for the opportunity to represent SOLDIER ON once again – Anna thank you for your never-ending (hopefully) patience with me!

To the race organisers: Thank you for your efforts and chin up guys!

To all our supporters: Thank you!

…Chad…

Capital Punishment 2014 Wrap Up

Posted on March 19, 2014March 20, 2014 by Chad Dobbs

I made the decision to not race to my Garmin GPS at around the 25km mark. Prior to the 2014 Capital Punishment I had been carefully monitoring my heart rate, average speed and split times during training rides and races. Every time I got on a bicycle and started riding I would keep my eyes glued to that little LCD display that was telling me all the information I thought I needed to know while riding. Sure, there is some data that is useful while riding, but the majority of what a GPS/cycling computer can offer is done in post ride analysis.

My preparation for this year’s 100km event was somewhat ideal; some long road rides leading up; but probably not enough mountain bike endurance riding in my legs at the same time. Between December and February I had been training quite intensively for the Easter 24 Hour Solos. Alas, the race was cancelled for a variety of reasons and my motivation to train came to an abrupt halt. My 400km weeks dropped to 200-250km weeks; while not exactly a tiny amount of riding, it was a struggle to get the bike out of the garage some days.

Couple this with one of my more impressive (read painful) crashes at the AMB 100 and I had effectively misplaced my Flow. I needed something to look forward to and that came in the form of a 100km marathon race taking in the best of Canberra’s single-track and a few killer climbs. Plus this was my first race in the new Soldier On cycling kit so I was excited about that. Last year’s Capital Punishment was my first 100km mountain bike race and I loved it. I rode my own race and only felt fatigued in the last 10km when I had to stop for some explosive vomiting action before the final descent to the finish line.

This year I set a few goals:
1) Finish the race – In the past 4 months I had finished only three out of seven races due to crashes or mechanical issues
2) Race my own race – It sounds strange, but to race and ignore all the other riders is a sure fire way to understand what your body and bike are capable of on the track
3) Beat last year’s time – What is the point of racing the same event again if you don’t want to improve?

So in the days leading up to the race I formulated my nutrition/hydration plan, prepped Kate the XTC and finally registered for the race the day before. Alas my excitement was replaced by a sense of WTF?! This year’s Capital Punishment was a little different to last years and indeed almost all other marathon races. Usually you choose which starting wave you want to begin in, turn up and start riding. The Cap organisers implemented a new seeding system that would allow you to nominate which starting wave you wanted to be in; but also required proof of a similar distance and time.

Not an unreasonable request by any means and to be honest a real step forward in trying to combat over seeding. Last year I started in Wave 5 out of 9. I finished in just over six hours and caught the tail end of Wave 3. Not bad for my first ever 100km race, but during that race I had also stopped to help an injured rider for approximately 30 minutes. In most timed races there is a “Good Samaritan Clause” in which time spent helping an injured rider is taken off your overall time. No worries I thought, I sent an email off to the organisers and received a reply that this would be sorted in the coming weeks.

Fast forward to 2014’s online registration and I self seeded in Wave 4 based on last year’s time and some of the enduros I had done in between. Eventually I was seeded in Wave 6, with 300+ other riders… WTF?! Indeed!

So I lined up in the first few rows of the grid within the stupidly large wave and rolled across the start line. After a few kilometres of fast fire road the Speedy Gonzales’s of the group were huffing and puffing and dropping back; and then we entered the Kowen Forest single-track. As always the Kowalski Brothers trails were in immaculate condition and daring every rider to push their limits. Kowen quickly transitioned into Sparrow Hill and I was riding my favourite trails in reverse; an amazing experience.

.:Start of the 2014 Capital Punishment 100km:.

.:Kowen Forest:.

.:Sparrow Hill:.

I had been riding for just under an hour by the time we went under the Kings Highway and back into Kowen Forest. By this stage my wave had well and truly spread out and it was obvious that the majority of us in the front group had been under seeded as we were already passing Wave 5 riders. As I rounded a corner just before Quadrophenia I misjudged my entry into a short bridge and watched as my XTC tumbled past me as I hit the dirt with my shoulder then my knee and finally my shoulder again. From crash to back on track I doubt I spent more than 30 seconds off the bike, but it was enough to wake me up and raise the heart rate.

.:Kowen Forest:.

So with a sore shoulder, grazed forearm, grazed knee and a bruised ego; I set about reeling in the 5 or so riders that passed me after I crashed. It was at this point I could clearly hear my heavy breathing and heart rate blasting in my ears. My GPS was beeping at me as my heart rate had exceeded my ‘maximum’ of 180bpm and it was not dropping anytime soon. As I approached the 25km marker sign I looked down at my sweat covered and dust encrusted GPS and pressed the ‘PAGE’ button. Now all I could see was my elevation statistics, calories burned and the time. I looked ahead and attacked the group that passed me just as a fire road climb appeared.

The next 20km’s was a blur of single-track, pine trees, fire road and climbs. It was on the climbs that I found I was passing riders with different coloured race plates to mine; riders that had started one or two waves in front of me, some of who had started 20 minutes before me. Clearly the seeding system was working fantastically! My annoyance was soon replaced with surprise as I saw the 40km feed station appear after a hill and I realised I was well and truly ahead of my planned time at this point. With the Sutton Forest section coming up with a few pinch climbs thrown in I knew I would be best served slowing to a comfortable pace and enjoying the race for the next several kilometres until I reached open fire road again.

And this is exactly what I did until I reached the Majura Military Training Area. In hindsight I know I took it a little too easy on the Sutton Forest stretch but the fact I was able to walk without pain after the race tells me I made the right decision. I pushed out a little on the fire roads and soon found myself crossing Majura Road and running a gauntlet of heavy construction vehicles to get over Mt Majura and into the untimed section for a refuel and slight rest.

By this stage last year I had walked two of the steeper pinch climbs in the Training Area and Mt Majura, this year I got out the saddle and pedalled my way up. As I crossed the timing mat into the untimed section I was feeling pretty good but in dire need of a bottle change. I rode briskly through the suburbs into Dickson and stopped at the second feed station. Bermers Di, Ben and Maree were there with words of encouragement and after 15 minutes I turned around to see Bermer Alyssa pulling into the station behind me; wow, she was not mucking about! I headed off to the start of the Black Mountain section and stopped to take advantage of some of what remained of the 55 minutes of un-timed section to have a bite to eat, nature stop and psych myself up for the next 30km that would be comprised of a lot more climbing. Luckily I like climbing, I may not be the fastest climber but I have endurance and on long climbs I find I pass a lot of others that try to lead out early.

Black Mountain was fun; tough climbs up and loose sketchy descents down. There was plenty of braking and skidding but by the time I was weaving through the cork plantation leading into the Arboretum I was still smiling. Immediately after the cork trees disappeared the climb that almost made me swear last year came into view. A long, loose and sometimes pinchy fire road that lead to a few shorter climbs. I decided to attack this climb; I don’t know why, but something in my legs told me to do it. I picked a gear and got out of the saddle and climbed. Last year I walked most of this hill and this year I wanted to own it; albeit in my own slow and steady way.

The Arboretum was comprised of hot and dusty sections that lead into the Cotter Road tarmac section that took us into Mt Stromlo. Last year this small stretch was difficult for me, I was running on near empty and it was a huge struggle to get my dual suspension Anthem, Zooey, to maintain any momentum. The slow grinding climb this year was made slightly worse with a drive train that sounded like half of my bike was grinding against the bitumen. As I entered Mt Stromlo’s first section of single track signalling I was nearing the last 12km of the race, my bottom bracket decided to start making life extremely difficult for me by partially seizing up.

.:The National Arboretum:.

The free flowing tracks of Holden’s Creek and Fenceline were quick despite the horrible grinding noise coming from my bike; but it made the next 7km ascending the mountain terrible. I had a choice of three gears in which my cranks would actually spin and allow me to continue moving forward. I was out of the saddle most of the climb and by the time I reached the start of the Western Wedgetail and the welcome descent down the mountain my quads were burning. I started the run home to the finish with a little tail whip (not my style but I figured why not) and hoped I wasn’t about to slow down any riders behind me.

.:Mt Stromlo:.

Skyline lead into Luge then Old Duffy’s Decent and finally the final stretch onto the crit track. I had been passed by one rider on Luge and decided I wasn’t going to let this Wave 4’er beat me (despite the fact he started the race a good 15min before me) and pedalled as fast as my body would let me. I bunny hopped the finish line and pulled up with a mean cramp in my left hamstring from the final sprint. I was met by my wife and the few Bermers that had started and finished before me. I was spent, but I was extremely happy; even more so when I found out I had finished under 5 hours.

.:Finished!:.

A huge thank you to my wife, the volunteers, fellow Bermers and the other riders for an amazing event.

New Soldier On Kit In Action

Posted on March 16, 2014January 13, 2018 by Chad Dobbs

After a couple of weeks riding in the new Soldier On jersey and knicks combo around Canberra it was good to finally get them out to masses during the 2014 Capital Punishment on 15 March.

.:Starting the race:.

.:Crossing the finish line:.

Soldier On Jersey – Version 2.0

Posted on March 4, 2014May 19, 2014 by Chad Dobbs

With thanks to Soldier On & The Military Shop the new version of the Soldier On cycling jersey has arrived – with matching bib knicks.

Both Soldier On and myself have been inundated with questions and requests since my original jerseys hit the streets and tracks and now you can support Soldier On by getting out and about in the new kit!

The original jersey was made up in early 2013 and only I and US Army wounded Veteran Kit Lowe have warn them. Now you can be apart of the team!
Available from The Military Shop in Canberra.

An Evening At The Australian War Memorial – Updated

Posted on February 17, 2014January 6, 2018 by Chad Dobbs

ABC’s Big Ideas has released the Boys Don’t Cry program online for viewing.
The televised version is shorter by about 20 minutes and doesn’t include my speech at the end of the forum. The online long version does. I invite you to watch is however please be aware that some of the program is fairly confronting including what I have to say at the end.

Long version of the Boys Don’t Cry segment

Big Ideas Boys Don’t Cry segment

On Wednesday evening, 20 November 2013, I attended a panel discussion at the Australian War Memorial on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The event was hosted by journalist/writer Paul Barclay on behalf of ABC TV and Radio National.

On the panel were former Chief of Army LTGEN Peter Leahy; author and Beyond Blue ambassador Allan Sparkes; Beyond Blue board member Professor Brett McDermott; and the wife of a former British Royal Marine, Emily.

I was asked about attending the panel a few days earlier by my friend Jason. Originally I didn’t want to attend as I honestly thought it may be a trigger for an anxiety episode; so I declined. It wasn’t until the night before that I decided to go along and hopefully have a chance to speak to whoever was on the panel. I had no idea who was participating in the discussion other than LTGEN Peter Leahy and hadn’t really thought about what was going to be discussed.

In the afternoon prior to the start of the forum, I rode from work up to the Australian War Memorial. As is the norm, I was wearing my Soldier On jersey and happened upon new Soldier On team member Tony; who many moons ago was my Troop Commander when I served in Iraq. Jason arrived next and soon we were joined by Anna, Meredith and Dion from Soldier On. After I got changed into something more appropriate than skin tight lycra, we went into the BAE Systems Theatre.

After the introductions Paul started the discussion with some questions about PTSD in the military for LTGEN Leahy. The conversation and questions started to flow freely within the panel with some very emotional stories being shared by Emily and Allan. Prof McDermott gave some very interesting insights on PTSD for not only military personnel; but also for emergency service persons and of course their families.

I wasn’t the only veteran in the crowd; but I was the youngest. There were a few Vietnam Veterans present, family members of veterans with PTSD and a few senior Defence officers that were skulking around the back pews in civilian attire.

As the discussion progressed LTGEN Leahy was asked some questions about support services available to veterans. I have a lot of respect for this man; he was an exceptional Chief of Army and has done a lot to help veterans with his current position as Chairman for Soldier On. But there is a distinct level of detachment from what a high ranking officer is told and what happens on the ground.

Some of his responses started to irk not only me, but a lot of the crowd listening to him. There were more than a few audible scoffs at some comments about the Department of Veterans affairs doing their best to help all veterans. One comment in particular drew a very audible “get fucked” from me. The former Chief of Army said that when a Soldier asks for help, he or she will always receive it. Paul mentioned the story of MAJGEN John Cantwell and LTGEN Leahy was in agreement. Whilst MAJGEN Cantwell has done a lot to help break the stigma of PTSD in the ADF; it is also true that a very senior Officer is never going to be turned away when they ask for assistance.

Allan Sparkes shared his story of PTSD and depression from when he was a Police officer; and the ostracising that he experienced as a result. His story was a very raw, no punches pulled recount of his darkest days and his termination from his employment without his knowledge. His story was very reminiscent of many veterans from the Vietnam War up until today’s conflicts.

Emily’s story was one of amazing courage from both her and her husband Adrian. She spoke of her time in the United Kingdom when Adrian returned from deployment in Afghanistan a changed man. He had experienced traumatic events and as a result developed PTSD. His struggles with mental health affected his wife and two daughters as they watched as their husband and father dealt with his issues now that he was back at home. His eventual discharge from the Royal Marines was a result of a physical injury and just like the majority of occupationally injured Australian servicepersons; Adrian was soon pushed out the door with very little support and preparedness for his transition to civilian life.

As the forum was drawing to a close Paul invited Dr Brendan Nelson, director of the Australian War Memorial to speak and field some questions from the panel. He spoke about the AWM’s role with supporting veterans of recent conflicts by having interactive exhibits and involving them with other projects the AWM is conducting. As a former Minister for Defence he expressed his desire to see more support forthcoming as the Afghanistan War draws to a close.

As 7pm was quickly approaching a few of us in the audience were wondering if we would get a chance to ask questions of the panel. Adrian was next to take the stage and he recounted some of his experiences post deployment and how support for veterans is extremely slow from the government in Britain. He spoke of having his claim for assistance being rejected on the first submission; a trend very similar to that in Australia carried out by DVA.

Adrian expressed his concern for veterans being forgotten after the withdrawal from the Middle East and a strong desire for them to be able to access the support they deserve and not repeat the mistakes of the past. He likened the struggles of today’s returned servicepersons to that of the Vietnam War era in the way that the fight for support continues even after the war on foreign soil has ended.

Adrian’s address to the panel and audience had clearly reached out to everyone with many of the Vietnam Veterans visibly moved by his honesty. As he sat down Paul checked his watch and asked us sitting in the audience if anyone had anything questions or comments. I had been sitting and fidgeting for the past 10 minutes waiting for this moment. Several different introductions and talking points had gone through my head and all disappeared in the instant I raised my hand and Paul motioned for me to stand up.

I was shaking before I even started speaking; this was always going to be an emotionally charged interaction from me and I started by introducing myself.

“Hi I’m Chad, I separated from the Army early last year and have deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety and I want to know why not enough is being done to help Australian veterans.”

I addressed LTGEN Leahy first and exclaimed to him that history was indeed repeating itself.

“I am a third generation Soldier, my Grandfather served in World War 2, my Father served in Vietnam and I have served in the Middle East. I watch as my Father and his mates still struggle with PTSD with many Vietnam Veterans taking their own lives since the war ended. I watch as my generation struggles with the same issues and now my mates, people I served with, are killing themselves because of PTSD and depression; and nothing is being done to stop this. There are more people in the ground because of PTSD and depression than there are that are on the wall outside who were killed on operations.”

I spoke of my efforts to get help when the weight was becoming too much for me to bear and that the first two times I asked for assistance I was rebuffed by my unit RSM’s; a statement that clearly shocked LTGEN Leahy. I was asked questions from both Allan Sparkes and Prof McDermott about my interactions with DVA and I recounted how I was told that my claim was going to be slow as my PTSD and depression ‘wasn’t that bad’. I explained to them that is was at this point that I withdrew my claim and stopped interacting with DVA as I felt I was being accused of chasing money and that by not receiving financial assistance my criticism of their practices would hold more weight in a public forum.

I described my battles with depression and that very few people understood; and the simple act of asking for help effectively stalled my career in the Australian Army for a number of years. The feeling of being ostracised and singled out was always present and that few people would support me when I asked for further help. I explained that while MAGJEN Cantwell’s story is not an isolated one, the level of support and assistance he received was. The average Digger in a unit has to contend with the ever present stigma of mental health issues and ignorance present within their chain of command and the probable persecution for not being able to fulfil their duties without restrictions.

I expressed astonishment that the very organisation founded to protect the rights of and provide assistance to veterans was failing in its primary role. I emphatically asked how in the forty years since the end of the Vietnam War servicepersons are still not being afforded the support we fought for. How it was possible that DVA can state they are still learning and getting better with a straight face as veterans from multiple deployments and generations kill themselves while waiting to access support services.

By this stage the room was silent and I had been speaking for around 20 minutes. The panel while sometimes asking me questions and making statements had clearly been unprepared for such a raw and uncompromising speech from someone. I had brought up some points with personal accounts of systematic failures from within the Australian Army, Australian Defence Force and the Department of Veterans Affairs.

There were some topics that I shared with a public forum that had only been discussed with medical professionals and not even shared with my wife and family. As my speech drew to a close I expressed the hope that one day veterans would receive the appropriate support from the Government but that it was very unlikely to occur in my lifetime and that my children probably wouldn’t see it happen either.

As I finished speaking I apologised for hijacking the Q&A session; Paul started wrapping up the forum and I sat down nervously. Jason patted me on the shoulder and most of the audience was either nodding in agreement or wiping away tears. I sat shaking and started to feel quiet anxious from speaking to a mostly unknown audience about issues so personal and distressing that I had spent the last few years repressing and ignoring them.

The rest of the evening was spent talking with members of the audience and panel. I received a great number of business cards and offers of assistance and opportunities to speak to other veterans and people with PTSD and depression. I found the response surprising and was shocked when LTGEN Leahy approached me as he was leaving. He handed me his business card and told me to email him. He offered to take me to see the Minister of Veterans Affairs to discuss the issues I had brought up.

He told me that the Service Chiefs would be made aware of what I had spoken about and that I should continue speaking up. Both he and Dr Nelson expressed the need for younger veterans to be the public faces and voices of our generation and that I should be one of them. I was very humbled by this statement and thought a lot about it over the following days.

At the conclusion of a big night, I farewelled Jason and the Soldier On crew, thanked the others and started riding my bike back home. The next 45 minutes were some of the most contemplative times of my life as I thought about what I had said and the inevitable shock-waves that they would create for my family and I when the ABC airs Boys Don’t Cry on Big Ideas in late 2013/early 2014.

The Silent War

Posted on February 12, 2014May 19, 2014 by Chad Dobbs

Last year on Sunday 29 September, I sat down with Canberra Times Sunday Editor Scott Hannaford and photographer Melissa Adams to share my story about life with PTSD, depression and life after I hung up my uniform and packed away my boots.

Scott had seen this blog and contacted me via Twitter and asked if I wanted to take part in a story he was putting together on Veteran’s experiences with post traumatic stress disorder and life after deployment.

For a few hours we sat down and talked about my time in Iraq and Afghanistan and my fundraising/awareness raising for Soldier On. On Sunday 13 October 2013, Scott published a story in the Canberra Times about my fundraising campaign leading up to the 2013 Battle Of The Beasts.

.:Click here to read the original story at the Canberra Times:.

After months of hard work Scott’s story was published in all major Fairfax newspapers and online with a suite of interactive media including our interviews and photos from overseas.

Below is my interview from the Canberra Times website and video interview with Scott and Mel.

.:Click here to view my video interview:.

.:Click here to go the interactive website:.